Main Challenges You’ll Face When Being a Lesbian

Some women take longer to embrace their sexuality, while others realize they like other women from a very young age. Interestingly, some women fantasize about girls when they are young but are often “normalized” by their religion, culture, or families. It means they have to reject their sexual identity and keep it hidden until later in life.

Challenges You’ll Face When Being a Lesbian

Sometimes, you feel attracted to men until you meet a lesbian who makes you feel special. However, irrespective of your “insight” into your sexual preferences, the process of coming out and facing the world does not get any easier.

For a long time, lesbians all over the world had to hide their orientation from others, and only on the internet could they be themselves. This is how dedicated dating platforms were created, and now anyone can meet a lesbian woman in a safe, judgment-free environment. Such platforms not only continue their existence nowadays; the lesbian online dating scene is thriving. But even taken the fact that being a gay person today is a lot easier than a few decades ago, there are challenges you have to overcome the moment you decide you want to come out as a lesbian.

Your Lifestyle is not Acceptable for Parents

Probably the most challenging part of coming out is to deal with your parents and make them realize how important it is for you to show your true sexual identity. Wondering what the reaction of their parents would be, many lesbians take a lot longer to take any decision. They often question if they are truly attracted to women and are gay.

They are often confused about acknowledging their sexual orientation and disclosing their LGBTQ status to friends, family, and coworkers. It can become difficult when you are already in a heterosexual relationship because of family pressure and decide to come out in later life. What people from the outside world think about you and your sexual preferences may not be that important for you, but how your parents and loved ones react can pose a huge challenge.

Main Stereotypes

Be prepared to deal with various stereotypes when coming out as a lesbian. There are so many myths and confusions regarding women who feel attracted to other girls, and being tagged based on those myths can be quite confusing for a new lesbian girl. Sometimes, dealing with the pressure to identify as femme, butch, queer, lesbian, etc., can put you in serious trouble.

You may also be pressured into deciding whether you want to be recognized as feminist or liberal, or you will be the “boy” or “girl” in the relationship. Meeting people who believe that your identity as a lesbian is “not” your reality but is more of a personal choice can be quite discouraging too.

Not being able to find a romantic partner on dating sites and platforms just because you have not yet identified yourself as femme, butch, etc., can also keep you from enjoying your life. For tech-savvy women, using online dating is the way to go, but dealing with internalized homophobia and countering feelings of self-hatred can still make coming out an intimidating process.

Love & Dating

While dealing with so many social pressures, it is natural for lesbians to find it nearly impossible to go out and find a romantic partner. Thankfully, online dating is there to lend a helping hand. You may still have to choose what type of gay girl you are, but you will witness more flexibility when using dating sites for finding love and meeting new people. You can use various filters to identify the most suitable matches and try tools to communicate and convey your thoughts better.

Quite interestingly, online dating sites may also serve as a resource for those who are just out and are still busy exploring their sexuality. Chat rooms on these sites can be of great assistance alongside blogs. You can connect with local lesbian singles and talk about how they manage their lives after coming out as a gay individual.

Discrimination and Violence

One of the biggest challenges lesbians face is related to hate crimes against LGBTQ individuals. Being discriminated based on your sexual preferences can be quite problematic and difficult to handle. Employment discrimination is quite common, too, as in many states, gay men and women can lose their jobs based on their gender identity and sexual orientation. It means that they may fire you irrespective of your job performance or ability to excel in a particular field, which is devastating.

In 2015, one in five hate crimes was due to sexual orientation. While transgender individuals have always been taking the most brunt, things are not that encouraging for lesbians either. Lesbian women of color are often considered more vulnerable as compared to their white counterparts. In such situations, going out and hoping to find a romantic partner is like putting yourself in danger. That is probably the reason why many lesbian singles turn to dating sites because they can find partners without any fear of being judged or having any issues related to physical violence.

Mental Health Issues

Considering people’s attitude towards you, it is often difficult to maintain your sanity and avoid mental health issues. So many lesbian women turn to substance abuse, while others have to deal with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and so on. Overcoming suicidal thoughts can be a challenge too.


Coming out as a lesbian is more of a process to understand, accept, and value your sexual identity. It is quite liberating, but you should also be aware of all the challenges you end up facing when living as a lesbian girl. Just be sure to stay strong, try online sites to find friends, join LGBTQ communities, and keep working for your rights.

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